2010
Come January we’re frozen inside; Making new resolutions a hundred times.
It is important to me that I do a round up and reflect on the year that has gone by, not for the purpose of showing off the platitudes of experiences I’ve had (or a lack thereof), nor is it to jump upon the bandwagon to search deep into the abyss of a godless soul for some reason that takes stock of the personal journey of life through the end of this decade.
No.
I’m not here to make a new year’s resolution either (even though I most likely will).
I’m here because of fear.
When all of a sudden you realise that you’re done with school, or at least what was required to take you to a university, when you realise that the transition from an adolescent to an adult is slowly introducing new responsibilities and burdens, when you see that the more you know, the more you don’t know… the gripping insecurity therein lies forces of space and time that are beyond your human ability to comprehend and control. I’m here to deal with that fear.
2010 has been such an eventful year, both virtually and in reality, so many things have happened. Turning 18 was pretty much a milestone for me. Doing things I’ve never done before, seeing people I’d thought I’ll never meet. But everything just happened, so simply, so quickly, so perfectly. I give thanks to the friends I’ve made in MJC, and the friends who’ve always stood by me from the very beginning. I thank you all for the wisdom you have given me, the opportunities to know you, and the fun that we’ve shared. The amazing thing about this year was that it was a rollercoaster, or should I say it’s more like the Screwdriver – not the tool, but the alcoholic beverage – with the hectic A levels as the bittersweet vodka which was persistently there to wreck our psyche, but also with the many warm and fuzzy people and events that overlaid as the tangy orange flavor that made everything seem like a good experience.
I’d like to give heartfelt appreciation to the great times that we had in ODAC, be it the ridiculous training sessions, or the painful expeditions to demanding mountains which we’ve conquered in the land of Mordor Malaysia. I’m also glad to have made this choice, because I wouldn’t have won the NUS Montage without being there to experience the unity that we had, with such persistence that we celebrate almost every single festival together up till today. 十年修得同船渡，百年修得共枕眠. May we have better times ahead in the new year.
Indeed, what would 2010 have been without the A levels… Must say it has been a wild ride, with the coffee burning up my organs and messing up my endocrine systems at ghastly hours into the morning just to inefficiently cram more information into the head desperately for every single exam. Could have taken the studying business more seriously considering how it is after all the most important exam of our sad Singaporean lives. But hey, you win some, you lose some. Am more than greatful for friends who were there to get me back on my feet at the hours of reckoning to fight the final wave, side along side.
But yes, most of all, 2010 was about Twitter. The simple outlet of rage and frustration happened to also be the inlet of strangers who became friends. Meeting people, seeing the world through micro-blogging and almost entirely neglecting this space where I dump walls of text like this one, kinda brought some quirky benefits. But yeah, kept me going through the long dreary days, and most of all, kept me in touch with the friends whom I’d thought I would hardly even see again. Glad you guys are all still following me back.
As I am left with the last 24 hours of 2010, I hope I will not forget what a long and memorable ride this was. People like to lament on how fast time flies, I like to see it as time well spent and passed. Time spent learning many things apart from those on the textbook, time spent with people worth knowing, time spent working on all our guanxis, it has been time well spent. No regrets.
But I am fearful for 2011.
As much as I am confident that 2011 will be a good year to start of a brand new decade of this millennium, I am fearful.
I am afraid of being hurt, I am afraid of failing, I am afraid of greater trials, and I am afraid of the larger risks. But that is not going to stop me from trying harder, punching stronger, running further.
I know that I am going to take a first step into 2011, to make every day of the brand new year into one where there will always be lessons even though I am no longer in school.
Life shall be a great teacher, and I shall be a better student.
A very happy new year to all of you – friends, family, and strangers.
